This dad shares how he supported his beloved wife during her intense labor and birth. Thank you for allowing us to share your birth story.
Bismillahirrohmanirrohim
My birth story as husband began at Thursday, 27 September 2019. On that day, my wife and my mother had already started cleaning our house. The intention was to prepare the house welcoming for our first child that has been awaited since our wedding day on 2014. On that Thursday, my wife showed laboring indication. As usually described, there was a contraction around the abdominal area and my wife's concentration was reduced. Thus, I decided not to go into work and helped clean our house and be prepared just in case we needed to go to hospital. Until Thursday afternoon, the contractions occurred several times but with frequency that did not yet indicate the possibility of giving birth soon. However, at 20:00, my wife was uncomfortable and we are started to recheck our preparation bag that had been prepared three days earlier. I remember how we prepared a strategy where I would go to sleep first, whatever the condition maximum until 22:00, so that at midnight I would be ready and alert. Those plans had been agreed to, although I saw my wife was exhausted and enduring the pain. But Allah was kind to her. Allah gave her power and patience during her labor. Around 02:30, my wife woke me up as planned. Alhamdulillah, I awoke quickly and got ready. I changed my clothes and called a taxi to pick us up. I was grateful that our trip to hospital was after midnight because Jakarta’s traffic is more friendly at this time and the length of time to hospital was more predictable and quicker.
At 04:00, we arrived at one of the hospitals in Ampera, South Jakarta. We chose this hospital because it supports natural birthing and exclusive breastfeeding. Alhamdulillah, my wife was directly brought to birthing room for observation. Because her condition was still far from optimal birthing condition, opening 4, I registered and reserved one room. As a person who is hardly awake for a long time, I was grateful to Allah for giving me the ability to accompany my wife at that time. I did know that my drowsiness was nothing compared to my wife's struggle. Alhamdulillah, Allah gave strength to my wife to breathe properly, do dzikrullah, and do movements that helped the opening process. Every 3 hours, my wife was checked by midwives, qadarallah.
The process took a very long time, even until 22:00 the opening was just 6. At 22:00, close to the important time in my wife's birth process. Her strength had been drowned enduring the pain. As far as I could do, I did what I learned to do from the child birth class that I had joined. I applied pressure on my wife's tailbone, gave her drinks, and helping her to exercise using the gym ball. Our struggle was going into midnight again, at 24:00 o’clock. The doctor, through the nurse, gave a signal that he was considering doing a C-Section for us. Actually our feeling was not sure that time when we saw that suggestion, but again faith in Allah is the best. If it was for the safety of my wife and son, we were ready to have a C-Section.
At 00:30, a nurse in the hospital decided to help the process. Looking at my wife who had been in pain for a long time and losing her strength, the nurse helped her by breaking the amniotic fluid sac. Qadarallah, this is when the contractions became rapid and intense. The opening process was going quickly. In around 40 minutes already to opening 9. In that moment, our doctor was called to come to the hospital. While waiting for the doctor, the nurse suggested to my wife to start pushing the baby because the head position was good and located near the pelvis, close to the vagina. According to the nurse, the distance is only as far as the middle fingers. My wife tried to push.
This is the moment when I realized the birth process is team work like boxing match. In this situation, I am the coach and my wife is the fighter. Only in this process, the round duration is getting shorter, same with the resting moment. Then we needed to use the relaxation moment to fill in the power by drinking water, honey, dates juice, and other power source food/drink. When a contraction occurred, I encouraged my wife to give her best shot. "You need to concentrate to push the baby out." "Do not close your eyes. "Be careful not to bite your tongue, and use every strength to push the baby only." Then, when it came to the relaxation moment, I gave her a drink. I told her, “Drink for endurance! Not for thirst!” because I saw now she needed to use every single moment to consume something before the next contraction. I am grateful because the hospital where my wife gave birth has a nurse who is capable enough to give calmness to patients and family.
Looking at my wife's struggle enduring the pain, around 30 hours, they tried to motivate her by informing her that the baby has gone through cervix and was close to the vagina. In addition, my mother-in-law also was very supportive although she was very concerned seeing her only daughter's condition. But, seeing our spirit and optimism for the opportunity of giving normal birth from Allah, she kept praying and showed so much support. My wife's brothers also came to the hospital. It was an important moment in their lives to see their little sister give birth. Every time I took a look at the birth passage, I was excited because indeed I saw my son's head and I knew he was getting closer. I am grateful to Allah that I had this opportunity to see every process. I said, subhanallah, subhanallah, subhanallah.
Allah’s design is flawless, every birthing process is something that cannot be designed if not but by our Creator. It is perfect. The birthing process made me understand that humans are small and weak. We cannot do anything without Allah’s blessing. Not so long after, the doctor came. The first thing he did was greet us and observed my wife's condition. He said, Alhamdulillah, the progress is good. Then the doctor conducted an episiotomy to help ease the birth way. Previously, we had hoped we could get a natural cut but looking at my wife's condition, we considered it as the best option. Anyhow, our birth plan was discussed before with our doctor. What I like about him is that he did not directly approve or reject our proposal but he respected our plan and said normal birthing is still feasible but we need to see the condition at the moment.
Back to the birthing process, my wife was exhausted at this time. But the condition changed when my wife and I saw the doctor give a code to the nurse to prepare some kind of injection. We predicted it was an induction injection. After recognizing that situation, my wife and I had one of the most important eye contacts that we have ever had in our lifetime. We wanted to avoid medical intervention as much as possible. Hence, my wife and I put in our biggest effort. This was the last round of the boxing match, the last lap of F1 race. I helped my wife to sit straight in order to push stronger. This is the biggest push. Alhamdulillah, by the permission of Allah, the effort was working. The doctor saw my son's head had almost passed the important phase and he started preparing to catch my son.
Then, it happened! My son was out. Soon after the head came out, his body followed and he started crying. It was loud! My eyes went to tears. I saw my son then my wife. Subhannallah. I was amazed by how the process looked so well designed. It is true that Allah is the one who determines when the baby will come out. We as humans can only try giving our best effort to push the baby out. After that, I kissed my wife. I love her so much. It was amazing! Alhamdulillah, she endured the process and gave birth by the permission of Allah. After that, my son was cleaned quickly and put on my wife's chest as part of the Early Breastfeeding Initiation. As we learned before, subhannallah, it is true that the baby became calm and started looking for it's mother's nipples. My wife's pain was also gone during that moment. Even when the doctor stitched the perineum, I did not see any pain expression on her face. Soon after that, the doctor and nurse congratulated us. On that day, our family changed from two to three. Allah gave us opportunity to nurture a child. It was a beautiful moment. Alhamdulilllah. We are thankful for every ability that Allah gave during that time.
This the birth story that I personally experienced. Hopefully this story gives benefit to others.
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