Written By: Zaakirah Idrissu

In the United States the month of October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. Miscarriage is defined in the U.S. as a loss happening before 20 weeks gestation while a stillbirth is a loss occurring after 20 weeks gestation. According to the March of Dimes, between 10-20% of pregnancies result in a miscarriage while 1 in 175 result in a stillbirth. Yet the topic of such loss in various families and communities can be seen as taboo. As a result many families carry the pain of this loss alone.

This loss from medical lens is experienced in various ways such as ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, chemical pregnancy, or a full term stillbirth, and even SIDS. Yet at the core of all of these experiences is that these families lost their baby. While some may have memorabilia as small tokens of their baby’s life such as a sonogram or tiny ink footprints others may not have that either. Regardless if the loss happened within the first 4 weeks of implantation or 40 weeks later on the baby’s due date, it is a very painful experience.

During such a vulnerable time community support is so important to the overall wellbeing of the grieving couple and their families. While it is a tendency for many people to offer words of solace or advice often it is a listening ear, quiet comforting presence , and hands on support that is more effective. There are so many ways to offer support and also receive barakah for helping during such a vulnerable time. Consider things like; Who will help pack up the nursery and baby items? Who will help ensure errands of the home are completed? Who will support the mothers nourishment and physical healing of postpartum without the joyful sight of a healthy newborn? When taking on the profession of providing perinatal support in various ways, it’s important to be aware of community resources to help these families comprehensively. This is a time that extended family, perinatal support professionals, and the community at large can really step up showing their empathy and compassion.

No matter how brief, the loss of a life is heavy and the process of healing will take time. The birth of another child while joyful, is simply not the replacement of their previous lost sibling. The grief of these families will go through many phases and they will need support throughout the journey. And at the end of it all their beautiful patience will truly be rewarded by their Creator. Allah is the All Knowing and All Wise. He’s ultimately the One that truly understands the depth of their experiences.